This is awesome! The only thing I could think of is to change the snare to something more powerful and to make the hi hats shorter, but other than that this song is beast!!! I love the vibes and the chord progression as well as the story it seems to tell. Awesome work!!

Good song, a bit repetitive, try adding new melodies. also the blips at 1:01 are in a completely different key with the actual song, just doesn't mix well. Nice song!

Nice concept, needs a lot of work lol.

1.) Try not to leave percussion by its-self too much, unless its a pretty good beat (not solid quarter notes)

2.) I like what you tried to do with the 6/8 melody and the 4/4 drums, but it didn't quite work. Maybe turning the tempo up would help.

3.) I like your samples and instruments! Plus pretty good for a first track. Don't be afraid to experiment a little bit, just look over it and see where it needs improvement.

Overall, Good idea, 'Meh' for the outcome.